Episode 5 - social media & technology
Jemma Sbeg
We Are Lonely was recorded on a number of Aboriginal lands including Gumbaynggirr Country and across the Kulin nations.
We would like to pay our respects to the custodians and Elders of these nations.
We would also like to pay our respects to the custodians of the land on which you are now listening.
Holly
Isolating myself has been a habit, and being lonely I guess, it's become a habit for me.
Tim
I think loneliness is something I've definitely struggled with.
Deidre Anderson
Everyone feels lonely at some stage in their life.
Tessa Blencowe
When we don't talk about it, when it's left unsaid, that's when it can start to spiral and build up then turn into something much greater, which can become something more severe.
Ian Hickie
And that has adverse effects on your mental and physical health.
Lisa Mundy
Connection is everything as humans and as mammals we require that connection.
Jemma Sbeg
This is We are Lonely, and I’m Jemma Sbeg.
Aleks
I still end up prioritising work over spending time with the people I love or something like this.
Jemma Sbeg
We've connected four people in their 20’s with mentors who are helping them build strategies to connect.
Charity
When I was younger, I had this sense of family and people coming together, it doesn’t happen these days anymore.
Jemma Sbeg
This show is supported by Medibank.
Being about loneliness, this podcast gets personal and vulnerable.
At times we’ll be exploring difficult themes including social anxiety, bullying and depression.
If this raises any issues for you, you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or go to ReachOut.com which offers dedicated support for young people.
Today we’re looking at the beast that is technology.
And to start with we’re going to bust some myths. Who better to balance the role technology has on our lives than world renowned researcher and co-director of the Brain and Mind Centre, Professor Ian Hickie.
Myth number one - our phones are damaging our brains.
Ian Hickie
So one of the great scare campaigns going on at the moment in the media, is that kid's brains are being fundamentally rewired for life, in a bad way, by the use of phones. And there’s a great deal of public media and assertion that we can no longer concentrate, that attention has been stolen, that the brains of the future will no longer be able to have a conversation, read a book, watch a movie, do any prolonged task.
I think the evidence for this is practically nil.
I think what is important is that we have the variety of experiences that are associated with different mental states or different capabilities. So, if the only thing you ever did in your life was play with a phone, your brain would adapt to playing with phones, or switch between attention, but in reality, that's not what people do all the time. I think where concern arises, it's about the amount of time that's taken up, doing those particulars amount of time per day to spend in front of screens. If screen time and sedentary activity robs away from physical activity.
Jemma Sbeg
And the second myth - technology is the root cause of our increase in loneliness (and everything else wrong with our society).
Ian Hickie
Lots of studies have actually looked at technology and I've been part of a number of the studies myself and most people have tried and assumed that technology will be the cause and have tried to find evidence for that. Lots of studies do not show a clear relationship. In fact, what they show is winners and losers.
I think simply pointing the finger at technology as the cause of all social evil, of disconnection of no one caring about anyone else anymore, is overly simplistic.
Jemma Sbeg
This mix between the costs and benefits, the good and bad of technology is something Tim’s experiencing first hand with gaming.
Tim
It can really consume and take over but it's something that I also don't want to lose. It's been very important throughout my life.
The person who picked me up at the airport when I first arrived in Melbourne was someone that I had met online in a game through a friend of a friend. And it’s crazy to think that we could go from strangers as playing a game and then we're helping each other, we’re supporting each other.
Jemma Sbeg
These connections that Tim’s developed - they’re just as real as the ones he’s formed off the screen.
Ian Hickie
Many young people share relationships, through gaming, through social media, through other things, these are real contacts with real people, the interactions that are happening are with real people, at other ends, there's significant social relationships that are developing.
They're real, they're meaningful and for many people who've had limited social contact or have limited capacity to operate outside of those worlds, they're extremely important.
I think we have to come under come to understand better the nature of those relationships, their importance, reinforcing of other relationships, how we mix them with those we have in face to face circumstances, but actually, that our social world has grown richer, as a consequence of inclusion of more relationships, through technology, not actually has grown weaker in ways.
As with relationships in the so-called real world or in the face to face world, there may be downsides. There may be elements where trust is not reinforced, where people are harmed, where people are bullied, where people are abused in various ways in those relationships, just as they are in face to face relationships. And you know, there's new territory there.
Jemma Sbeg
Here’s Tim and his mentor Sean talking about the role of dating apps.
Tim
I've been with my current partner for over a year and a half and the way I actually made friends like in Perth was pretty much through Tinder and Grindr.
Like it’s because I play video games, like my profile would say, I'm looking to play video games, does someone play these games. And one way or another, we met through there, played some video games and just became close over that.
Sean Szeps
For people who don't understand what that is so Grindr, primarily, I think they label it as a communications app but let's be honest, it's usually a sex app.
Tim
Yeah.
Sean Szeps
Looking for physical connection but our community uses it as a way to make friends 100%. I'd say a large chunk of queer people who don't know how to find each other, know that that's a way for them to find people in their vicinity. Like you see people writing in their bios, “Looking for friends”. And it becomes an easy way I guess in a world that's very straight and hard to identify who might be like you, an easy way to do so. Do you feel like you can do that now?
Tim
No, a hundred percent not. Maybe it’s just a boundary thing and it’s something comfortable. It’s something that me and my partner have discussed. It’s both a bit out of our comfort zone to be on those apps even if it’s just for the sake of finding friends. Especially given how notorious relationships and infidelity and things are in the queer community.
Sean Szeps
You’re bringing up something fascinating that I don't think a lot of heterosexual people would have to consider. In our community a lot of the relationships are open and even if they’re not there’s like this larger stereotype that there’s infidelity seeping through it. If the apps are the best way to connect to people who are queer but you're in a relationship, being on the app in and of itself is perceived as strange. Like “Why are they on there? Is their relationship not legit?”
Tim
Yeah, it’s like “Are they going through a rough patch? Is it about to end? Are they trying something different?”
Sean Szeps
Yeah, I guess I haven't thought about the fact that for so many queer people when they’re single that those apps are just a great way to actually make friends but then once you’re in a relationship, the perception of others stops you from being on the apps to continue to make friends. When you see people’s bios that say ‘Just here to make friends’, I think we all roll our eyes a little bit. We’re like, yeah right, you’re just here to have sex.
But I guess my question to you is, who gives a shit what people think. If that’s going be a useful tool for the two of you to continue to make friends or just you, I wonder if there’s a way to link your profiles or to say, “I'm here to make friends, my partners on the app too” and that kind of energy that it makes it more abundantly evident and clear that that’s real. That feels like a problem in our community and there’s no answer to it. There’s not an app that’s just for friendship for us.
Tim
Yeah and we’ve had that discussion and it’s tricky finding somewhere we’re both comfortable, we’re both happy.
Jemma Sbeg
This blending of multi worlds, the online and the face to face, it comes with new challenges we’re all trying to navigate.
Whilst it is a place where we can find likeminded people to connect with, many challenging feelings are also enhanced by social media.
Body shaming, bullying, social comparison and of course a fear of missing out, just to name a few.
Spending years navigating illness, Holly watched her friends socialise while she was stuck in bed.
Holly
Obviously, it's a highlight reel so everyone's posting their best memories but I just found that really hard. And I think then, as I got better, it's been a really valuable asset, because I've been able to kind of dip my toe in the kiddie pool of going, “hey, how are you going” and reach out to people while being able to kind of protect myself by still being isolated physically. But I'm able to still make that little connection to other people. So, it has been good. But it's definitely about perspective and the way that you view what it can do for you.
Jemma Sbeg
As a counsellor, this is a space Holly’s mentor Tessa is often working in with her clients.
Tessa Blencowe
Yeah, I mean, I feel like some of the first things with platforms like Instagram is being really deliberate about who you're choosing to follow. And actually, really inviting, people into your feed and into your space, sort of really mirroring your values. So, you know, there's lots of amazing, really positive spaces on Instagram, body positive spaces, queer positive spaces, that really shows the reality of life and the reality of people, and it can make you feel really connected.
With the element of FOMO, I think sometimes we feel that more when there's a general feeling of discontent with where we're at, or what we're doing. And rather than letting that destabilise us, I feel as though again, it's space to learn rather than judge. And so if we're noticing, oh, I'm feeling like I'd like to be doing those things, then maybe that's an invitation to see how you might be able to do some more of those things in your life, create more of that in your life, maybe it's an invitation to reach out rather than retreat further.
Jemma Sbeg
There’s no question that we’re all going to be impacted by technology in some way, but how it impacts each of us is going to be different.
Aleks isn’t only a consumer, he’s also a creator.
In looking for a mentor, Aleks wanted someone who had also lived in the spotlight and managed social media from the creator’s side.
Being a musician and an actor, this is a space that his mentor Barry is working in all the time.
And he understands the impacts of creating content for a social audience.
Barry Conrad
Because you went viral with your first video on Tik Tok.
Aleks
Yeah, yeah.
Barry Conrad
How was that whole situation because that is a trip. Imagine downloading an app making one video and then all of a sudden a couple 100,000 views, well something crazy.
Aleks
Yeah.
Barry Conrad
How was that experience for you and TikTok fame for lack of better phrases.
Aleks
Yeah, I guess the difficulty of being one person kind of, you know, receiving support from hundreds of people and then being roasted by hundreds of people and just having, being the receiver of all of this, like a stranger. They're strangers, I'm a stranger to them. And so that was really tricky. One thing, I think one thing that's true about the concept of going viral is that no one has any idea what, what it even is. And I think part of me when I think about it, part of me thinks that it does involve bringing lots of people together. And that it is kind of, you know, one of the most unique parts about social media that you can just, make one thing and have all of these people engage with it. And you know, interact with it and whatever. But I think part of me is pretty cynical about the whole process because everyone is doing this on their phone, presumably, by themselves, including me, you know, I'm engaging with content and engaging with my own content most of the time on my phone. And so, there's this weird contrast, you know, in some way, you can see all of these numbers, hundreds of 1000s of people, you know, watching millions of likes, comments and stuff. But yeah, social media does this weird thing where it puts them all together in one place. And I think part of me thinks that it gives off an illusion that everyone is together.
Jemma Sbeg
Aleks is right, we are building these communities, but when we’re using them we’re also doing so on our phones, alone.
So while they may have benefits, they can also draw us away from the people around us.
There are ways though, that we can all get better at managing this.
Ian Hickie
I think what's so clear about new technology is that we have not yet developed the social rules that surround it. They're fascinating little things and staying connected with the outside world and dealing with all the things you have to deal with concurrently has a certain efficiency but smart phones and smart technologies, they are smart. They’re built to distract you, they’re built to grab your attention, they’re built to be immediate, they’re built to interfere. They’re stuff that someone wants to attend to and they're built in a way to engage you that people find hard to ignore.
So one of the issues is developing rather than blaming the technologies, they're just a tool, is developing the appropriate social etiquette around those technologies. So, I think there is an issue that we haven't yet incorporated effective technologies into our lives socially, or in terms of daily habits that put them in their right place.
Jemma Sbeg
This impacts loneliness in two ways, firstly we can harm the conversations we’re having in real life by interacting with our phones rather than the person in front of us.
Also, we can tend to avoid social situations or exercise or sleep because we let technology take over our time.
Aleks and Barry worked together on some strategies to be more intentional around the use of technology.
Aleks
Not using my phone for the first hour after waking up or not using social media for the first hour. And so this is something I've been doing every day which is really good and it probably has contributed to a decrease in stress in the morning because I'll wake up and engage with things straight away. I’ll read the news like first thing and be transported somewhere overseas to some major world event so it's nice not to not kind of be hit with that the first moments after waking up.
Jemma Sbeg
Tessa has a few tips in this domain as well.
Tessa Blencowe
I mean, the first part of it is really recognising just how much you are on your phone, or how much you're noticing your use of your phone in those spaces sometimes we don’t even have an awareness of how much we’re even paying attention to it. And then being really deliberate about creating space and distance with it so for example, you know, not having it in the same room, as you when you're, you know, with someone that you're supposed to be trying to spend quality time with actually really removing it from the whole space.
It requires discipline and it requires structure, I think as well to sort of start to feel like you're not relying on it as much. I guess if you are, my question is sort of, “What's meant that you have you are feeling like you have to be on your phone all the time? Is it filling some kind of space that you're maybe avoiding acknowledging? Is there a feeling of boredom? Or is there a feeling of distraction that you’re needing through that phone?” and having a clearer sense of that part first, as well.
Jemma Sbeg
We’re just going to dip out of the technology theme here to give you a life update from Tim.
In amongst all the work around navigating loneliness, and creating healthy relationships with his gaming, he was also thrown the curveball of a relationship break up.
Tim and his long-time partner have just separated.
Tim
I’ve dealt with breakups in the past, but I’ve learnt to deal with them by blocking and moving on.
Sean Szeps
That’s completely normal and can also be very safe so you’re not wrong in doing that.
Tim
Never really having to deal with this isn’t just a one and done thing, it’s something that is going to be ongoing that I’m going to need to deal with I guess.
Sean Szeps
I said this already to you but I’m really sorry it’s not fun, the conversations you and I have been having, are about the importance of community for you, the importance of friendship, the importance of identifying who you are and what you need to be happy. A lot of us get that form our loved one, but we also can get that form other places and so I guess what I’m hopeful is that, “do you have friends around you, that you can see and hang out with and get out there and go out with, that are going to be there for you as a rock no matter what happens in your relationship?”
Tim
I think that was one of the tougher conversations we’ve had to have with our friends because I met all of our friends through my boyfriend. It becomes this tricky situation for me, where are they your friends and I’m just there, or are they our friends and they’re friends with both of us, are they my friends. I think I’ll just say now, they’re all gorgeous, amazing, beautiful human beings that have said, together or not, we’re friends with both of you, we’re here for the both of you. Tricky.
Sean Szeps
Very tricky, and it’s really good to hear that that’s the way the friends responded because I imagine, knowing you a little bit now, that one of the larger your concerns is we’re talking about loneliness we’re talking about a new place that you live, we’re talking about you raising your hand and saying I want this to be better and then to throw into the mix, a relationship problem, it complicates this so there’s probably fear attached to it and if the relationship ends, I’m back to square one.
Tim
Yeah, it’s like these friends, this small community I’ve built up, I’m going to have to start again, those people I went to drag with, I’m going to have to find new people now, but no their response does put me at ease and does make me feel more comfortable in my friendship with them.
Jemma Sbeg
So Tim’s managing a heap of stuff here, and we know now that big life changes and transitions can be a time we’re more likely to feel lonely.
So it feels like a good time to look at Tim’s relationship with gaming and see if this is an issue that maybe needs some energy put into it.
We brought in someone who understands gaming both as a player and as a psychologist.
Shane Southwood
My name’s Shane Southwood, I’m a provisional psychologist with the Reed Clinic on the Central Coast, and I'm also involved in the reset Aus program, which is a program designed to help teens with problematic gaming, but I should caveat that with the fact that I also play video games so I’m not in that one sided, video games are all terrible street. But Tim I know a bit of a story but if you can give me a bit of a recap on your gaming journey to date.
Tim
As far as I know I've been gaming forever. I remember - my mum is Thai and in Thailand we used to have those little knock off games that you used to get in the market, and I remember you used to put the cartridge in used to play Mario and all of that. My gaming has been one of the things that has been a constant throughout my life. It’s this thing I always go back to but I know within myself that it’s a temporary fix, even though it might help me escape some feeling of isolation or low mood, negativity, anxiety. It's just a distraction it’s not dealing with the core issues or the roots of those emotions and those feelings.
Shane Southwood
That’s the crux of gaming for a lot of people, where you experience a negative emotion or low mood. You turn to a game, it’s always going to be there when you want it, for the most part, you feel better, it’s a nice distraction, it’s fun it takes away the negative emotion for the time being and often when you turn off the console or computer you’re left back with the negative mood again and that’s where it can be problematic because as soon as you get that low feeling again, your brain already has the solution, playing video games fixed this for the last hour and a half so why wouldn’t I just go back to doing that. Do you have any key signals for you that you know when this happens maybe I've got to dial it back a little bit.
Tim
For me gaming as avoidance, I think there's a distinction between a distraction and completely avoiding something you know to not do something or to ignore something over a long period of time and sort of when that happens. That’s when it can be destructive and you know back when I was in my second year of uni, it was something that I was really using gaming at that time to avoid having to deal with my problems. It was easier just to zone out, go into a different world and just do something where I felt competent instead of reality where I had so much negativity going on.
Shane Southwood
You touched on so many important points that affect people with problematic screen use that they're - just in my work, the themes that you see are, gaming and screens become a not just a distraction anymore it is complete avoidance of anything difficult. Whether that be schoolwork, whether that be problems in relationships, it's just all out avoidance. And then like you said beautifully, it can potentially be that feeling of mastery, where like I’m really good at this and I feel good playing it so why would I not do this. Instead of you know, for some people might be studying for a test that they know they’re probably not going to do as well in so it all ties in, you’ve got the social, that sense of mastery, the avoidance, it can get really messy and kind of tricky to manage.
Tim
People have a lot of different capacities. My friend was a 99 ATAR student and he would game constantly - he could handle that and not everyone has the same capacity. And it's sort of the same with mental health, you know people have different thresholds, people have different needs and capacity with how much they can take on, how much they can deal with and just because one person can sleep for 3 hours a night doesn't mean you can necessarily do it. I wish I could, but I know I need a good 7, 8 hours sleep.
Shane Southwood
That's well said you do have those people who they can game lots or can invest in whatever hobby a lot and it doesn't have a functional impact on their life. Their work isn’t impacted, their relationships aren’t impacted, their academics aren’t but then you might have someone who only plays a couple of hours a week and it is detrimental to their schoolwork or their relationships so it is about understanding what impact it has, if any.
Jemma Sbeg
Tim’s a psychology and media student, so he’s not only interested to speak to Shane about his own personal gaming experience, but also to understand the problem gaming program that Shane is working on.
Tim
How has the process been so far for you, being part of that program and seeing people go through the program?
Shane Southwood
It's been really cool and I think it’s also been interesting for myself in terms of my gaming habits because there’s often times, I'm not immune to these games and the things they do to keep you at your screen so oftentimes instead of writing a report, I’d much rather just play PlayStation for half an hour or something like that. It is a bit of I have to practise what I preach and hold myself accountable. It is cool to see some of the changes that these teens make, and the changes in their relationships, their academics and even basic things like their sleep and food intake can be impacted so once you have the sleep, diet, exercise in a good spot, it’s kind a snowball effect from there at times when everything else starts to self-correct.
Tim
That’s definitely one of the most difficult things habits to break with gaming is sleep and poor sleep. I know, for me, I’ll be up at 1 o’clock playing League of Legends with my friends and then we say one more win and then we can go to bed and then one of two things happen, we either keep losing so we don’t go to bed or we win and then you feel so good from that so we can’t stop at just one, it has to be more, we have to win more and more. Whether you win or lose, you continuously chase something like that little brain’s reward system, you’re trying to get the dopamine, ok we need one more win, ok we’ve got two, let’s go for three, we can’t sleep until we lose.
Shane Southwood
And that’s exactly what they do they tap into the brain rewards system and if you imagine game designers do an awesome job at making you feel like it’s never complete. For example, games like League of Legends, Fortnight, all those first-person shooters, your goal is to win a game or a battle royale, you win one but there’s these overarching goals, you reach ten - to get to this level, this upgrade, this limited edition skin, weapon or whatever it might be so you win but you feel like there’s more to win.
Tim
On a more individual level what are some better habits to develop, sort of how we have sleep hygiene, what would be good gaming hygiene?
Shane Southwood
That’s a good question, I like it. I would say plan your gaming, so before you start playing, set a time limit with yourself, I’m going to block off a realistic time.
Tim
I don’t think I have that sort of discipline to say I’m just going to play a game for two hours or for one hour, but I understand what you mean.
Shane Southwood
That’s where it gets tricky with sleep because normally late in the evening, there’s no plans after that, there’s just sleep. Whereas if you game at say 3 in the afternoon until 5 and at 5 o’clock I’m going to stop and then cook dinner and you actually have a replacement behaviour, because it’s really hard for our brains to just stop and do nothing and now what’s next so I think planning with gaming with an activity after. If it’s late at night the activity could be to have a shower or clean my teeth but as long as there is a replacement activity would be a good step. The other thing, I try and dodge gaming at night, especially late at night close to bed, but if people were to do that, I would recommend on a tv from a distance rather as opposed to a Nintendo Switch two centimetres away from your eyes because research is showing the distance from screen actually has an impact on our sleep. And another one is to take perspective, what's my goal here when I’m going to game, is it to catch up with friends, is it to just escape for a little while, relax and then make sure we’re not saying to ourselves, my goal is to avoid work that I have to do or avoid a difficult phone call or something like that.
Jemma Sbeg
We probably all want some quick fix, but when it comes to gaming and using technology in a way that won’t contribute to our loneliness, it’s all about control.
Be mindful of when you’re using screens, of what they’re replacing and what you’re avoiding by using them.
Prioritise the things we all know we need for health and connection - exercise, sleep, contact with other people.
Sean Szeps
When you look into the future and you think about next week, next month, what do you think the healthiest routine is going be for you so that you can take all that we’ve just talked about and this energy and move it forward so that at the end of next week, you go ‘this was an amazing week’.
Tim
I think getting that balance this week has been crazy busy, it’s just one of those things you can’t really help with, it’s just a perfect combination of everything where everything lines up and you can’t really move things around. But I think going forward will be having that balance. I was saying, I just want to play some video games because I haven’t gamed all week and it’s something that is very important to me and very therapeutic. It’s something that I really enjoy. I’m able to connect with other people in a way that I feel like I don’t have the same agency to in-person so having that time for myself because I haven’t really had that time or space for myself and also treating myself a little bit. I want to play some video games.
Sean Szeps
Yeah, you deserve that.
Jemma Sbeg
So far, we’ve only met our participants one at a time.
For the next episode though, we are bringing them altogether to meet.
Here’s a taster with us all talking about today’s topic - technology.
How do you think that social media and technology especially in our 20’s impacts our experience of loneliness.
Charity
Well I feel social media kind of affects our generation because that’s when social media was really getting pushed out there. When we were teenagers growing up, mobile phones were becoming a thing and it was an easy way to get in contact with people but it was also something that I don’t need to go their house anymore, because I can just message them. Or that’s when kids bikes out the front of other houses was starting to disappear, that was because they could just jump on MSN and it is kind of like a swing and a miss, the good and the bad all in one. I feel like it affected our generation the most because it took away that connection, like physical connection.
Aleks
I think adding to that, it feels like it’s taken away, in some way physical connection but also its simulating real connection, it convinces us that by talking to people online that we are going to have our needs met and sometimes you can, sure, it depends what your needs are but I think a lot of us have gone through extended periods of time, being like, this is great, I’m at home chatting to people, this a substitute for real life encounters and it’s not.
Charity
And then you get stuck inside and you don’t see the sun and when you don’t start to see the sun, depression starts to hit very heavy, and anxiety starts rising.
Tim
I think for me, personally, it’s been a double edged sword and I guess it also helps now that I’m single, dating apps are an option for me now and using that to get my foot in the door in a way that works for me to connect with other people.
Holly
I just think it’s about the relationship we have with it and our awareness around ourselves and maybe what we’re using social media for or the way we’re using it to protect ourselves and cover things over for ourselves that we don’t want to face.
Jemma
And interestingly how seeing people have these amazing friendship groups or constantly out doing things or having experiences that we wish we had with people and that is a point of comparison that actually can make us feel really terrible about ourselves. But then as soon as you’re in those situations you’re posting all those things as well.
Holly
I think that we want to, there’s always that’s going to be parts of us that want to show ourselves doing things because there’s a part of us that loves doing it and loves the moment we’re in but if we’re all being honest with ourselves, it’s the proof that we exist in the friendships and relationships that we want other people to see. Because in some way we think it means that our value increases or that other people’s perceived idea of us is better. But as someone who went through chronic illness, there was this ongoing thing where people would say you’ve deleted your Instagram again and that was the only way I could actually detach from constantly seeing stories of people doing things that I wasn’t able to do.
Charity
Them photos and videos come from a background story too, they may not even be legit, they're out having a good time, but they’re not. Someone can take a photo with their partner and it looks like “we’re so in love” but when they get home it’s the complete opposite and it’s hell. Don’t compare yourself to other people.
Jemma Sbeg
That’s really interesting, the time that I was at my lowest so many people came up to me and were saying you look like you’re having the best time ever and you look like you have so many friends and you look like you’re doing really well and I was saying I can’t believe I let myself put that impression out there. I felt guilty for doing that and I’d been selling everyone a lie about how great I’m doing.
Charity
It’s part truth though, part truth because you were still doing things, but it wasn’t good for you.
Tim
And sometimes it helps to fake it until you make it. Sometimes pretending or just convincing yourself ends up turning into genuine positivity.
Holly
I agree, even when you put on an outfit because you feel average about yourself, it elevates how you feel but it’s that fine line between doing that and then also owning that you’re not and then creating conversation around that and normalising it. It’s just so hard to find that balance because like you said, you post when you’re at the worst and that people don’t feel the energy behind it. They see the photo and they put their own interpretation of it onto the post and then you’re not actually getting heard or seen.
Jemma Sbeg
If this show has raised any issues for you, there are always places to turn, such as Lifeline on 13 11 14; Beyondblue.com.au and Reachout.com, which offers dedicated support for young people.
For more information and tips to help you if you’re feeling lonely, visit wearelonely.com.au.
We are Lonely is produced as part of Medibank’s ten-year commitment to addressing loneliness.
I am Jemma Sbeg.
This show was produced and edited by Liz Keen and Simon Portus from Headline Productions.
Music is by Kenneth Lampl.
Fact checking is by Jess Choong and our team Psychologist is Alison Howarth.
Our Junior Producer is Monika Vidugiryte.
Our team from Medibank include Karen Oldaker, Nigel Davis and Demi Michael.
Project and Production Management by Robert Ranieri and Nick Randall from Ranieri and Co.
Looking for something else?
Visit We Are Lonely for more information.